My mother tells the story fondly, shaking her head slowly with a far off look, as the memory is painted before her in her mind’s eye. “I’ll never forget the first day I brought you to your new school. I held you horizontally, pulling at your sneakers as you clung to the door frame of the house, screaming, crying, and refusing to budge.” I laugh now thinking of my Capricorn single-mother desperately trying to pry little Cancerian me from the front porch of that apartment just so she could get to work on time. My parents had recently separated and I had moved to an unfamiliar town with my mom and brother, suddenly with a much smaller backyard and my dad nowhere to be found in the halls of our apartment.
Growing up Cancerian, I was no stranger to intense emotions that I couldn’t comprehend. I felt paralyzingly insecure at times, fearful of change, and deeply disturbed by the notion of separation occurring within my own family.
Little did I know, I was learning precisely how to live and learn the lessons taught by Cancer.
The image of me, hanging sideways, clinging with my entire life-force to my home feels like the perfect backdrop for diving into this new moon & solar eclipse in Cancer on July 12th.
Your need for a safe, supportive home, a caring family, a knowledge of your ancestry, and a need for emotional support and security are all contained within the watery realms of Cancer. There is strength here, in building one’s tribe, in creating a home base chock full of love and plenty of food, and in creating an emotional sanctuary- a shell to feel safe inside of, a place to cry and share one’s fears without judgment.
As the first water sign of the zodiac, Cancer swims in the primordial waters of the psyche’s shadow side, always exploring emotional undertones and old haunts from childhood. Many of Cancer’s complexes are rooted in fear. Fear of letting go. Fear of allowing change in the face of a traumatic development. Fear of loss. Fear of familial deterioration. Fear of the new. Clinging to the past. Holding on for dear life when you just need to release into the unfamiliar. Even the word unfamiliar is uncannily Cancerian, “un-family like”.
Let’s consider this signs polar opposite sign, Capricorn.
Where Cancer wants to build a home, Capricorn wants to build a career.
Where Cancer clings to the past, Capricorn has it’s sight set on the future.
Where Cancer cries and retreats, Capricorn sighs and defeats.
Where Cancer is the safely woven family, Capricorn is the ambitious and separate individual.
Where Cancer clings to the front porch, Capricorn yanks back and says “I’m gonna be late for work!”
The powerful dynamic of Cancer vs. Capricorn is deeply embedded into the New Moon Solar Eclipse of July 12th. The New Moon at 20 Cancer is exactly opposing heavy-handed Pluto at 20 Capricorn. Pluto, lord of the underworld, will likely be bringing up ancient baggage from his trips into the basement of your psyche over the summer. Watch what comes up for you now and try to be present with it, though the Cancerian element here will have us feeling like helpless little kids again. This isn’t a form of punishment, it’s a tool from the heavens, presenting you with a new way to release your ancient unconscious attachment to reopening your old wounds.
The solar eclipse element in this new moon is crucial, as we dive headfirst into an eclipse season that will stretch over the dog days of summer and dig it’s hands into our hearts. Solar eclipses are powerful, fated, action taking times. Things can come and go in our lives, literally be eclipsed in or out at a moments notice. Solar eclipses are known to be amplified with energy and are powerful indicators of new beginnings and opportunities. They bring in huge periods of growth by removing us from our comfort zones and by showing us where we’ve been unbalanced. We're set up for a big summer of emotional release and reform.
Can you let go into the wild fate of the uncertain? Or will you cling, frightened to the door frame of the past while life tugs at your feet, encouraging you onward?
Cancer New Moon + Solar Eclipse Meditations:
Can you embrace your emotions without shunning them or shutting them down?
Can you release your fears? If not, can you contemplate their origin and their validity?
Do you recognize that you possess all the love and support of a family within yourself?
Regardless of your actual, biological family dynamic? That you are capable of that love and nourishment?
Can you embrace being your own parent? Taking care of yourself? Letting yourself rest and feel loved?
Can you try to remain open to the ever-changing winds of life?
If something has to be let go? If something needs to be let in?
Much love and good luck,